Person-Centered Thinking Changed More Than My Work
Early in my career, I started hearing whispers about something called Person-Centered Planning. At first, I was skeptical. My reaction was probably similar to what many people think when they first encounter the concept: Aren’t we already person-centered? After all, the entire purpose of human services is to support people.
But curiosity got the better of me. I started reading, attending trainings, and learning from some incredible leaders in the field. One of the most influential experiences was attending an Essential Lifestyle Planning training led by Beth Gallagher. Later, I had the opportunity to be mentored as a Person-Centered Thinking trainer by Joe Donofrio. The more I learned, the more convinced I became that these concepts had the power to improve lives.
More than twenty years later, I still consider myself a student of person-centered practices. But one thing has changed significantly. What began as a passion for improving services has become something much more personal. The greatest impact of Person-Centered Thinking has not been on the plans I’ve written or the trainings I’ve facilitated. It has been on the way I see people.
Person-Centered Thinking Is More Than a Service Model
When most people hear the phrase Person-Centered Thinking, they think about disability services, support plans, compliance requirements, or specific planning tools. Those elements certainly matter. Good plans can be life-changing, and the tools associated with person-centered practices have helped countless people pursue meaningful goals.
But over time, I’ve come to believe that Person-Centered Thinking is not primarily about plans or tools. It’s a paradigm. It’s a way of understanding and valuing people.
At its core, Person-Centered Thinking asks us to see the whole person. Not their diagnosis. Not their role. Not their job title. Not the service they receive. The person.
That may sound simple, but it is surprisingly difficult in a world that constantly encourages us to move quickly, focus on outcomes, and categorize people into convenient boxes.
The longer I’ve been in this field, the more I’ve realized that person-centeredness is not something we should reserve for people receiving services. It is a way of engaging with everyone in our lives—our coworkers, our teams, our families, our friends, and our communities.
The Leadership Lesson I Wish I Had Learned Earlier
When I reflect on my career, there is one realization that makes me uncomfortable.
For many years, I was more interested in mastering the process than understanding the person. I wanted to learn the tools, improve my expertise, and become highly skilled at implementing person-centered practices. Those goals were not wrong, but they were incomplete.
I did not spend nearly enough time being genuinely curious about people.
I was ambitious. I wanted to improve services. I wanted to get things right. But I often approached Person-Centered Thinking as something I was doing rather than a way of being.
Today, I believe the real transformation happens when we become unreasonably interested in people. When we slow down enough to understand what matters to them, what motivates them, what worries them, and what they hope for. That shift moves us from process to relationship, and from management to leadership.
Discovery Is One of the Most Powerful Leadership Tools We Have
One of the foundational concepts within Person-Centered Thinking is discovery. Discovery is the practice of understanding another person’s perspective, experiences, preferences, dreams, and aspirations.
It sounds simple, but it requires something many leaders struggle to make time for: genuine curiosity.
I’ve been re-reading The Dream Manager recently, and it has reminded me how powerful it can be when leaders invest time in understanding people’s dreams. Too often, organizations focus on performance while overlooking purpose. Yet purpose is often what fuels performance.
When leaders take the time to discover what matters to people, something changes. Relationships deepen. Trust grows. Engagement improves. The conversation shifts from transactional to relational.
People begin to feel seen.
And people who feel seen often become capable of more than they ever imagined.
The Balance Between What Matters To Someone and What Matters For Them
If there is one Person-Centered Thinking concept I hope every leader understands, it is the balance between what is important to someone and what is important for them.
What’s important to someone includes the things that bring joy, comfort, purpose, fulfillment, and meaning to their life.
What’s important for someone includes the things that contribute to health, safety, growth, learning, and long-term success.
Most of us naturally gravitate toward one side of that equation.
Some leaders focus heavily on what is important for people. They emphasize goals, accountability, growth, and performance. Others focus heavily on what is important to people. They prioritize relationships, preferences, and personal fulfillment.
Strong leadership requires both.
I’ve learned this lesson repeatedly in my own life. There have been seasons where I ignored things that were clearly important for me because they felt inconvenient or unnecessary. Eventually, those decisions caught up with me. Growth often requires us to pay attention to things we would rather avoid.
At the same time, growth becomes much more sustainable when it is connected to something that matters deeply to us.
The same principle applies to leadership. Great leaders help people pursue what is important to them while also supporting what is important for them.
The Difference Between Power Over and Power With
Another concept that continues to challenge me is the idea of power.
Every relationship contains power dynamics. Leaders have authority. Supervisors make decisions. Organizations establish policies. The question is not whether power exists. The question is how we use it.
Person-Centered Thinking encourages us to move from power over people to power with people.
Power over makes decisions for people.
Power with makes decisions alongside them.
Power over values compliance.
Power with values ownership.
Power over assumes expertise belongs to one person.
Power with recognizes that everyone has something valuable to contribute.
As a leader, I still wrestle with this. I like being in control. Many leaders do. But the more experience I gain, the more convinced I become that sustainable growth happens when people have ownership, not just instruction.
When people participate in creating solutions, they are more likely to embrace them.
Person-Centered Thinking Belongs at the Center of Culture
One of the biggest mistakes we make is treating person-centeredness as something that belongs inside a support plan.
Person-Centered Thinking is not just a service model. It is a human model.
The same skills that help us support people receiving services also help us become better leaders, coworkers, spouses, parents, and friends.
Respect.
Listening.
Discovery.
Curiosity.
Balancing support and growth.
Sharing power.
These are not disability service concepts. They are relationship concepts.
If we want to build strong organizations, develop future leaders, and create healthy cultures, we must stop treating person-centeredness as a compliance requirement and start embracing it as a way of being.
A Challenge for Leaders
As I’ve grown in my understanding of Person-Centered Thinking, one challenge continues to shape how I approach leadership:
Be unreasonably interested in people.
Ask more questions.
Listen longer.
Stay curious.
Look beyond roles and responsibilities and take time to understand the person sitting across from you.
Because the goal isn’t simply to serve people better.
The goal is to become better people to each other.
And when that happens, stronger services, stronger cultures, and stronger organizations tend to follow.