The Quiet Voice That Says Stay
Have you ever been in a moment where everything in you wanted to walk away, but something quieter, steadier, kept saying, stay?
Most of us have experienced moments like that.
I think about pursuing my lifeguard certification years ago despite not being a particularly strong swimmer. I think about walking alongside people who were working toward goals that others quietly assumed weren’t possible. I think about exhausted families advocating for the people they love through years of obstacles and setbacks.
And I think about human services.
Every day, people in this field continue showing up despite workforce shortages, funding challenges, bureaucratic hurdles, and the emotional weight of caring deeply for others.
That’s grit.
What Is Grit?
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines grit as “firmness of character and indomitable spirit.”
Psychologist Angela Duckworth offers a definition that has shaped much of today’s thinking on the subject:
Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.
What I love about that definition is that it isn’t about talent.
It’s not about intelligence.
It’s not about charisma.
It’s about stamina.
It’s about continuing to move toward something meaningful even when progress feels slow, uncertain, or frustrating.
In human services, we understand this better than most.
Why Human Services Requires Extraordinary Grit
Many of the outcomes we work toward don’t happen quickly.
Confidence.
Independence.
Employment.
Housing stability.
Healthy relationships.
Community belonging.
These are rarely achieved in a straight line.
Supporting someone through affordable housing challenges can take years.
Helping someone build confidence may involve dozens of setbacks before meaningful progress occurs.
Walking alongside a family through a difficult season requires patience that often goes unnoticed.
The reality is that progress in human services is frequently measured in inches rather than miles.
And grit is what helps us keep showing up.
What Grit Looks Like in Real Life
When people think about perseverance, they often imagine dramatic acts of determination.
But grit is usually much quieter than that.
In our field, grit often looks like:
- Supporting someone toward a goal long after others have given up
- Continuing to believe in someone’s potential during setbacks
- Helping someone recover from failure without judgment
- Celebrating progress that others might overlook
- Returning tomorrow even when today felt discouraging
The most powerful examples of grit rarely receive recognition.
There are no awards ceremonies for consistency.
No headlines for showing up.
Yet those small acts of perseverance change lives every day.
What Grit Is Not
Sometimes it helps to understand a concept by defining what it isn’t.
Grit is not talent.
I’ve watched incredibly talented people abandon opportunities when things became difficult.
Grit is not luck.
Grit is not intensity.
And grit is not pushing harder at all costs.
In fact, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that grit sometimes means doing the opposite.
Imagine trying to push open a door that won’t move.
You push harder.
Then harder.
Only to realize the sign says “pull.”
Sometimes grit isn’t about forcing your way forward.
Sometimes it’s about pausing, reassessing, adjusting your approach, and choosing to continue.
The goal remains the same.
The strategy changes.
The Power of Borrowed Grit
One of my favorite ways to think about grit is something I call borrowed grit.
There are moments when people lose hope.
They cannot see a path forward.
They cannot imagine success.
In those moments, someone else carries hope for them.
Someone believes when they cannot.
Someone stays close when things are difficult.
Someone reminds them of what is possible.
If you think about your own life, you’ve probably experienced borrowed grit.
Someone encouraged you when your confidence was low.
Someone supported you when you wanted to quit.
Someone helped carry the weight for a season.
That matters.
And it is one of the most powerful gifts we can offer others.
Grit Without Support Becomes Burnout
This may be the most important section of this article.
Human services often celebrates perseverance.
But sometimes we celebrate it in unhealthy ways.
We admire people who keep going no matter what.
Who sacrifice endlessly.
Who never stop.
The problem is that grit without support eventually becomes burnout.
Healthy grit includes:
- Boundaries
- Recovery
- Community
- Sustainability
- Self-awareness
The goal isn’t simply to endure.
The goal is to endure in a way that allows us to continue serving well over the long term.
Organizations have a responsibility to support that kind of healthy perseverance.
No one should have to carry the work alone.
Why Leaders Should Pay Attention to Grit
As someone involved in hiring, coaching, and leadership development, I’ve become increasingly interested in grit.
In many situations, I would choose a person with high levels of grit over a person with exceptional intelligence.
Because grit reveals itself over time.
It appears in resilience.
In follow-through.
In learning from mistakes.
In staying engaged after disappointment.
In continuing to grow.
That’s why I love asking questions like:
- Tell me about a time you didn’t quit.
- What do you do when things don’t go the way you hoped?
- Where in your life are you choosing to stay when it’s hard?
The answers often reveal far more than a résumé ever could.
A Reflection for Human Services Leaders
Angela Duckworth describes grit as passion and perseverance for long-term goals.
But I think it’s important that we don’t lose sight of the first word.
Passion.
Passion is often what brings people into human services.
Grit is what keeps them here.
So let me leave you with a few questions:
- On a scale of 1–10, where is your grit right now?
- Do you still feel connected to why this work matters?
- How are you recovering from setbacks?
- Who helps carry hope for you when yours runs low?
- Are you trying to do this alone?
Because if you’re still showing up, still caring, still advocating, still believing people can grow and thrive despite challenges—
That’s grit.
And in a world that desperately needs more hope, that kind of grit matters more than you think.