The Simple Phrase That Changed My Perspective
Recently, I was facilitating a training on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. One of the exercises in Habit One, Be Proactive, asks participants to list all the things they “have to” do. For a few minutes, people are encouraged to vent, complain, and unload everything weighing on them.
Then something interesting happens.
Participants revisit the same list but replace phrases like I have to with I get to, I will, or I am going to.
It sounds simple.
But the shift is powerful.
The exercise reminds us that many of the things we complain about are actually opportunities. We have choices. We have agency. We have options.
As I reflected on that exercise, I realized that some of the most important lessons about gratitude, perspective, and privilege did not come from leadership books or professional development courses.
They came from the people I have supported throughout my career in human services.
The Grocery Store Lesson I Never Expected
Early in my career, I supported adults with developmental disabilities who were Deaf or DeafBlind. One day, I accompanied a man named David to the grocery store.
I expected a quick trip.
In and out.
Easy.
Maybe even a little boring.
Instead, we spent nearly two hours shopping.
The first item on David’s list was hot dogs.
When we arrived at the aisle, I selected a package and placed it in the cart. David stopped me and asked what the label said. After I explained it, he wanted to know what other options existed.
Different brands.
Different ingredients.
Different flavors.
Different nutritional profiles.
He wanted to understand every available choice before making a decision.
At first, I felt frustrated. What should have taken minutes was stretching into nearly half an hour for a single item.
Then something shifted.
I realized how much effort it took for David to access information that I took for granted every day.
For me, grocery shopping was routine.
For him, it required interpretation, support, patience, and trust.
That experience changed the way I viewed choice.
Human Services Reveals Privileges We Rarely Notice
One of the greatest gifts of working in human services is that it exposes privileges many of us never stop to consider.
The ability to visit family whenever we want.
The freedom to drive somewhere spontaneously.
The ability to shop without assistance.
The opportunity to choose where we sit at a concert or sporting event.
The privacy to make mistakes without documenting them in a formal record.
The ability to sign our own name.
The freedom to pursue hobbies without someone questioning whether they are age-appropriate.
The chance to take risks, fail, learn, and try again.
These are things many people never think twice about.
Until they support someone who doesn’t have those same opportunities.
Choice Is About More Than Convenience
One of my colleagues shared a story about supporting someone who insisted on shopping at a more expensive grocery store.
The immediate reaction was practical.
Why spend more money when less expensive options exist?
But the issue wasn’t really about groceries.
It was about choice.
Most of us make purchasing decisions every day without having to justify them.
We decide where to shop.
What to buy.
How much to spend.
No one questions those decisions.
Yet many people receiving services experience far fewer opportunities to exercise that same level of autonomy.
What appears to be a small decision is often about something much larger.
Control.
Dignity.
Independence.
The Privilege of Privacy
One privilege we rarely discuss is privacy.
Most of us decide how much of our lives we share with others.
We choose who knows about our relationships.
Our mistakes.
Our health concerns.
Our financial decisions.
Our goals.
The people we support often experience something very different.
Their challenges may be discussed in meetings.
Their goals may be documented and reviewed.
Their progress may be tracked.
Their personal information may be shared among professionals.
Much of this happens for good reasons.
But it should also remind us how valuable privacy really is.
The ability to control our own story is something many people take for granted.
Why Perspective Matters for Leaders
Over the years, I’ve come to believe these lessons are not just valuable for direct support professionals.
They’re valuable for leaders.
Perspective changes how we lead.
When we understand how differently people experience the world, we become more patient.
More curious.
More empathetic.
More person-centered.
We stop assuming our experience is everyone’s experience.
And we become more aware of barriers that others navigate every day.
That awareness strengthens culture, relationships, and decision-making.
Playing the Infinite Game
Simon Sinek often talks about the difference between finite and infinite games.
A finite game has clear rules, known players, and a defined endpoint.
An infinite game is different.
The goal is not to win.
The goal is to keep playing, keep growing, and continue advancing the mission.
Human services is an infinite game.
There is no final finish line.
No moment when the work is complete.
No point where we stop learning.
The best leaders understand that sustaining purpose requires perspective.
And perspective often begins with gratitude.
A Challenge for Human Services Leaders
The next time you find yourself saying, I have to, try replacing it with I get to.
Not because every challenge is enjoyable.
Not because every responsibility is easy.
But because that small shift reminds us of something important:
We have opportunities that others may not.
We have choices that others may not.
We have privileges that often go unnoticed.
Working in human services gives us a unique opportunity to see those realities more clearly.
And if we allow those lessons to shape us, they don’t just make us better professionals.
They make us better people.